It All Began

DANCE while you can...."I will not stand to the side and allow the MUSIC in
my HEART to fadeaway and die.
I will DANCE to my own LIFE SONG."

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Another beautiful day!!!

Wow!!!!! 
Maybe it's the fabulous weather we are having (low humidity, cool breeze, warm sun!), but I feel great!


Fighting what I hope are the last remnants of the side effects, a major headache. But so far no heavy pain meds necessary.
Beside that I really feel great.



Makes no sense. I cut my anti-depressant in half to add the new med and when the new med didn't work I just stayed with the half dose. 
And I feel sooo happy! 
Not a giddy/giggly happy, but a deep down "everything is good" happy.



Last night I went to sleep with a headache and woke about 3 thinking my head would explode.
My hubby prayed over me, got me something for the pain and gave me a neck and shoulder massage. He said it felt like trying to massage a rock. 



I had been emotional, disappointed, tense and teary when I went to sleep. I had been gritting my teeth so hard that I could barely move my jaw. Now it was the middle of the night and I was scared, disoriented and couldn't get away from the pain!


After about 30 min the pain began to subside and I'm crying again. "Are you sad?", he asked. "No. I'm just so happy. I'm so thankful that I don't have to go through all this alone. I don't know if I could have made it through this past weekend without you. I love you so much. I really, really love you." And I do.

Life is strange. I am even stranger. 

But I'm discovering that strange can also mean unique and interesting. 


"Spicy" as I'm found of saying").
  
Things are changing. Slowly but surely. 
I'm falling back in love with my husband and I even like who I am (a little). I want to live again. 
Not just "not die", but live. I know everyday won't be perfect. 
I know there is still a LONG WAY to go. 
I'm still confused about much. 
I'm still in Love with a dream and can't imagine letting it go. 


But in the midst of it all I have peace. Peace that tomorrow will take care of tomorrow. 
I am practicing my new affirmation, 
"You's is kind. You's is smart. You's is important." 
And I'm working towards the ultimate goal;
"Discover you, like you, embrace you" (per my therapist).


JUST FOR FUN;
I watched Top Gear last night. My kind of show!!!! 
So today I'm really late for my appt. I have 10 minutes to make a 25 min. drive. 
No problem. Just rev that baby up and let her rip!!! What fun! I was in the truck and it did well but fought me about going over 100mph. Which is why I drive a boring mini-van and not a Lexus!!!
I was only 3 minutes late!!! FUN! FUN! FUN!



Later I got a call from my baby boy checking on me :) 
I listened to the messages on my phone and there was a call from our oldest son, my mom and my step dad; "just checking on you" and another from my sister inviting me to go 'junkin tomorrow. 
I am loved. I am blessed. I'm on my way.....elle ").




"You" the carpenters
http://youtu.be/QkEc-nen7eA

"You are the one who makes me happy
  When everything else turns to grey.
  Yours is the voice that wakes me mornings
  And sends me out into the day.
  You are the crowd that sits quiet
  Listening to me
  And all the mad sense that I make.


  You are one of the few things worth remembering
  And since it's all true
  How could anyone mean more to me
  Than you?


  Sorry if sometimes I look past you
  There's no one beyond your eyes
  Inside my head wheels are turning
  Hey, sometimes I'm not so wise.
  You are my heart and my soul
  My inspiration
  Just like the old love song goes.
  
  You are one of the few things worth remembering
  And since it's all true
  How could anyone mean more to me
  Than you?


  You are my heart and my soul
  My inspiration,
  Just like the old love song goes.
  You are one of the few things worth remembering,
  And since it's all true
  How could anyone mean more to me
  Than you?"


You are my Love
I'll never forget to remember you. Never!
All our new memories are stored safely in my heart. L.E.

  















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