Yesterday is gone

Woke up this morning after a good, long night sleep and realized that "yesterday" is gone.
Thank goodness! What an awful day :(
The darkness is gone. The dread is gone.

Earlier my mind started to wander to things that wound and hurt. But I just said "no".
There will be days that "no" won't mean a thing but for that moment I was strong, in control and unwilling to walk back through the door of loss, grief and pain.

I'm leaving town for a few days.
Hopefully I will reconnect to reality in a positive way and return home a little stronger and a little farther down this road of healing.

"A house does not have to be perfect to be a home of joy, a child does not have to behave perfectly to love and be loved, and every moment of life does not have to be perfect to be of value. Too often, I realize, we fail to see the glorious reality of the simple joy that abounds in the seemingly mundane routine of day-to-day living. Instead, we tend to idolize the past, idealize the future, and devalue the present.... What better way to show our appreciation for what we have than to embrace our lives, albeit 'ordinary' and 'unexciting,' with joy?"
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I related immediately to this.
I idolize the past and just want to climb back into those carefree days when my life was my own and my decisions didn't rock the world of soooo many people.
I devalue the present.
I have no clue about the future.

But today the darkness is gone. Today I want to live again.
For that I give thanks.