A story....

 

Once upponse a time there was girl who did good and right and well.

She'd always believed, that in a life past or a time before, that she must have been a bird in flight, a wave upon the sea or a shell in the sand.... Perhaps in a time still to come.

Her song was sweet, her heart was big but everything else was small. Her legs were short, her fingers stumps, her body petite (except for a rather nice, plump rump :).

Her capacity to hold was huge!
A lifetime had been spent trying to cram her love of, her excitement about, her amazement over LIFE into her small existence!
She felt everything BIG! But had limited access to expression.

I've see her as a grown woman. She has wisdom and experience. She understands lack and sacrifice (and the kind of love that makes a woman choose both).
I also see the child. Forced to face too much too soon. Stunted in many ways. Still very childlike. She grits her teeth, makes ugly faces and sticks out her tongue. She whines and pouts too often.
Still I think she's grand!!!

I hope she never gives up on the hundreds of simple things that seem so enormous in her eyes.
I hope a day will come when she'll dance without restraint in the sand (have you ever seen a little kid dance???? It's magical. We can't help but smile as they twirl, and float, jig and jag. We smile at the innocence. They are totally unaware of right, wrong, proper and not.)

If I could give her advice it would be; "don't give up that inner child. She's amazing."

Tonight I was a free woman. No deadline, no watchman. I drove my car fast, wind in my hair and played the music loud. I ate at my favorite taco joint and drank fabulous, forbidden cold beer. I dreamed and schemed of innocent things and things carried mute to the grave. Asked a friend to come play but
"no, not today", so I drove home (no speeding!), alone.
But I wasn't sad, 'cause I'm not a child, and I now know the rules from the start.
I don't build my hope around things I can't change, 'cause they hurt and they break my poor heart.

Instead of a frown I drove happy and found 2 new songs and an old favorite too.
Now I've written, had a snack and waited "just in case". My eyes are starting to close. But before I lay down, bathe and drape my gown I'll share some good music with you.

2 new (to me) songs:

THE ONE elton john
http://youtu.be/85B_REWeNcM

"I saw you dancing out the ocean
Running fast along the sand
A spirit born of earth and water
Fire flying from your hands"

"For each man in his time is Cain
Until he walks along the beach
And sees his future in the water
A long lost heart within his reach"

(Oh yeah! I like this song.
  How is it I've never heard this song of love before?)
 

I'm Never Too Far Away jon secada

http://youtu.be/taE36rsEa1I



Need You Now lady antebellum

http://youtu.be/eM213aMKTHg

 

(this one I know. This one always takes all the willpower I don't think I have, especially when it's 1:12 am....)

"It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without you 'cause I just need you now."

 

 

My day tomorrow is no storybook tale and holds little to look forward too.
Grands for the day while mom is away, a party for one who is "one". Then a funeral to sing, the sadness it brings as we bury a friend, too young, now gone.
It's a story called "Life", many days lived in strife and struggle and weariness too.

So before I close my eyes I give thanks. Grateful for the moments of hope, rest and joy I found tucked away in today and for friends with whom I can share. For moonlit nights where we meet and hold tight to hands that touch from afar.
Never let your story end.
Good night, elle