I wrote you today, twice.
First to invite you to spend a very special, twice in a lifetime, day (& possible night) at the beach with me.
Then to tell you that I needed to save face (and sanity).
I know you'd never come and rather than spend a week in anticipation of the impossible I was bowing out in what I thought was a creative and somewhat comical way.
No response.... as usual.
I felt stupid.
Maybe nothing I send you makes you smile.
Maybe all the things I find hilarious are just silly & childish to you.
Maybe...but I'll never know.
I tried repeatedly to send a third email.
But all I could get out were 4 letter words.
I was embarrassed. I hid behind hurt and anger.
But don't fret...
I'm a slow learner but I'm not stupid.
It's just another lesson in "how to let go the hard way".
Soon it will be over and I'll be gone for good (or at least another 35 years :).
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