On the porch with one of the grands enjoying the cool morning.
My body temperature is quite different from my husbands. 89 degrees in the evening is perfectly fine with me. A stray breeze is cause for a celebration and I'm tickled pink to sit in the warm humidity.
If he were here he would sit and drink coffee with me because he loves me and wants to be with me. He wouldn't complain about the heat or the humidity, even though he would be miserable.
We are different in that way too. He doesn't complain. He suffers in silence
Not me. I suffer quite vocally :).
"Finding the good in life" is a thought process that sort of crept up on me.
I wasn't "willing" myself to find the good. Instead I was just very thankful to be out of bed and functioning on a "slowly but surely" level.
Then I started finding myself smiling at the strangest things.
The first time I noticed this new joy I was standing in my great room smiling at the colors of my walls: they're beautiful. Everything I unpack, love and decide to keep fits perfectly with the other treasures.
If I don't love it, I sell it.
I no longer feel the need to have and to keep everything.
Less really is more.
I no longer obsess over stuff. In comparison to the past, my home could now be called "sparse". But I like it this way. Less to clean. More to enjoy.
I now see the beauty in my home.
I also smile without ceasing at the birds, our tiny garden, my beautiful flowering plants and the sun as it's setting.
I've started walking again in the evenings. I work my walk around the colors of dusk. I speed up or slow down in order to be at just the right spot when the colors of orange, blue & pink are at their boldest.
The neighborhood dogs and my husband walk with me some evenings and we chat. Other times I walk alone. But I don't mind anymore. I'm learning to be alone again without being desperately lonely.
I am learning to choose happiness. I'm learning to choose love.
Life has a way of disappointing and I know that all too well.
It also has a way of surprising.
I'm thankful that even when I wasn't looking, and had quit believing that there was good to be found, that it found me.... and gave me back my smile.