It All Began

DANCE while you can...."I will not stand to the side and allow the MUSIC in
my HEART to fadeaway and die.
I will DANCE to my own LIFE SONG."

Friday, August 17, 2012

It's too late to hold my breath

I worked so hard on the post "Holding my breath". I wrote, rewrote, thought and thought some more.

I tried to get it just right.

I can be such a fool. There is no way to make a wrong right. I can call it right all day. I can FEEL the rightness of it.  BUT I'm alone in this. Everyone else calls it wrong.

I'm not holding my breath. It's too late to hold my breath. Dead people don't have a breath to hold!
This is my fault. I jumped into deep unknown waters and quickly lost my sense of direction. Before I knew what was happening I had lost all strenth. I cried out for help but it was too late. Powers stronger, wiser and with the intention of destruction moved in quickly. There was no help for me. I was swamped, overtaken and destroyed.

It's impossible to raise the dead. It's impossible to turn death into life.
I've worked so hard trying to convince myself otherwise.
I can't make a wrong right.

The truth is that I cannot do this.
I cannot bear this burden. I don't want to go on alone but I have no other choice.

Today is a bad day for me. Another day of loss.
I kept holding my breath, holding onto a dream, a hope, an illusion.
It doesn't exist. I am holding onto nothingness....

I'm very tired. I have no strengh or will left. If only life would stop and let me off for awhile.
I'm going to try to rest and then I'm going to pull this empty shell up, prop it up, paint it up and parade it like an empty pinata.
I was empty before. I am more empty now.
I was alone before. I am more alone now. Some things never change

Dimming of the Day alison krauss old house is falling down around my ears
I'm drowning in a river of my tears
When all my will is gone you hold me sway
I need you at the dimming of the day

You pulled me like the moon pulls on the tide
You know just where I keep my better side

What days have come to keep us far apart
A broken promise or a broken heart
Now all the bonny birds have wheeled away
I need you at the dimming of the day

Come the night you're only what I want
Come the night you could be my confidant

I see you the street and in company
Why don't you come and ease your mind with me
I'm living for the night we steal away
I need you at the dimming of the day

I need you at the dimming of the day

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