It All Began

DANCE while you can...."I will not stand to the side and allow the MUSIC in
my HEART to fadeaway and die.
I will DANCE to my own LIFE SONG."

Friday, August 3, 2012

letting go...

Not sure if I want to. (i don't)
Not sure if I have a choice. (i don't)

Sometimes (often) in life it doesn't matter what you (I) want. You (I) just have to take what you're (I'm) given and do the best you (I) can with it.
Do I have to let you go? No
Can I keep you? Only in my heart

So what next?
Keep evaluating;
is this need, this love, this obsession worth the cost to my health, my emotions, my relationships?
how do I let go?
can I live with the finality of letting you go?

Still more questions than answers. Still makes me sad.
Every morning I open my eyes and you are here. Every day my response is different. But there are less smiles.

Do I feel more pain or more happiness since I found you????
That's a hard one. The happiness I feel with you is sooo intense. The pain without you is horrid.

The freedom I found with you was so liberating; like a bird loosed from a cage
The freedom I found with you was so limited; like being in a glass house. I can see the sky but I will never fly.
I can never forget.
No matter how deep this loss is I will never forget you.
How do I let go???
I can start by not sending you a link to this post or the post from Tuesday night or the ones you missed from last week.
I can face as much truth as I can handle for this moment.
I can begin to let go of the words, the music and the memories that make you so alive to me.
How do I let go?
One moment at a time
What do I let go of?

I will miss the laughter. I will miss your smile. I will miss the music in my heart....

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