Recap...

I've been feeling a little (a lot) scattered lately.
Not real sure what's next.
Since I started this blog in March so MUCH has happened (and hasn't).


Recap:
I am no longer chronically depressed
I am seldom depressed :)!!!
I am growing, changing, learning, reaching & stretched


Things I thought I knew but didn't:
How to love
Me
You
What's next?
I can have whatever I want


Things that still stump me:
How to love
Me 
You
What's next?
Why can't I have everything I want???


Things I am afraid of:
Being alone
Being misunderstood
Being unlovable
Stagnating or worse, retreating
Running out of money
Not being pretty
Not getting a "next time"
Wanting a "next time"


Things I avoided but am ready to embrace again:
My children
My husband
My "grands"
Leaving my house
Leaving my bedroom
Leaving the computer
Friends

Not an all inclusive list. I'm sure I'll think of a million more, but it's a good start!!!


I've been stumped by the "what's next?"
I don't like change and yet someone put my life in a blender and pushed "puree"!!!


Things that change almost daily:
My love for me
My love for my husband
The way I feel about the "right" way to love you
                         -vs- the way I want to love you


So I've spent the last few months learning to know, accept and love myself
     I've spent the last few months wanting to know and love you
     I've spent the last few months trying to make you love me like I wanted 
     I've spent the last few months trying to convince myself that my husband was all wrong for me (or that I am all wrong for him) and that our marriage should end. I was wrong. I don't know how to fix it but it's too good to just walk away from.


I've been sorta stuck in the fast lane & in danger of being plowed over 
I needed some fresh inspiration so I turned to "Pinterest".
I am VERY VISUAL and VERY HANDS ON
Here are some things that moved me

I have learned that this is true. It doesn't mean I like it,

it just means it's true.

An "elegant" place

I'm still a lady at heart,

only thing that's changed is my definition of

"a lady".

I'm a lovely lady when I'm naked.

A lady at the beach is different from 

a lady in the grocery store.

I love beautiful things!!!

That was fun and refreshing, inspirational and educational!

Let's sing a while!!!

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" iz

http://youtu.be/V1bFr2SWP1I

"Just Dance" (something borrowed)

http://youtu.be/Z2PRvux-kC4

"Wouldn't It Be Nice" the beach boys

http://youtu.be/L--cqAI3IUI

You wanna???

East to west....

 remember 1975 

Bring your guitar ")... elle