"Hope Floats"

It's Sunday morning, again.
No changes today. I stayed home. No guilt. No decisions. I'm enjoying my day of "rest".

It has been an amazingly good week overall!!!

I believe I have been closer to "normal" this past week than in the past year. I had more good days than bad. I was out of bed more than in it. I smiled, danced & laughed. 


This is all good. I could almost believe that I am normal again. But in truth much of my happiness has been tied to the things I want but still can't have. In other words I am getting really good at meshing my fantasy world with my reality. Not healthy, but it feels so good. 


I want to share some "favorites" today and tie them all together in a bouquet of hope.


I recently discovered a TV show that truly cracks me up!!! "The Big Bang Theory" is a show I would normally avoid because the name does not measure up to my standards. (Lowering my standards has been awesome! I am so tired of being a prick with a broom stick up her ass) Sorry, but it's the truth! I have been a judgmental, better than you are snob for way too long. It stunk. I don't want to be that woman ever again.

Back to Big Bang. My youngest son encouraged me to watch it several months ago.
This show puts me on the floor. I DVR'd several episodes and watched 4 in a row one night. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee on myself. 
It's been so much fun! Laughter really does the body good.



I have a friend who likes Sandra Bullock. I have been going over the list of movies she is in.
I had forgot how many there are and how much I enjoyed most of them.

I was moved by "The Blind Side" and enjoyed "Speed". 
A favorite is "While You Were Sleeping". My favorite scene is when Sandra Bullock says, "I'm in love with your son", "Not that one. That one." :)


My husband likes "Miss Congeniality" and I quote it often; "You wanna love me, you wanna hug me, you wanna kiss me."

I have a cool necklace I made. On it is an old key (the key to my heart) and two metal charms. One says "kiss" the other says "hug". On a recent trip I added an initial charm for our last name. I have a difficult time wearing it now because it is a reminder of the major struggle in my life; the undying love I have for one man and the dedication I have to the other.  

I often remove the initial charm when I'm with one and then put it back on when I'm with the other.
I'm not ready to give up either. My sanity can't handle losing what I just found. How do I turn your back on a love that fills a huge part of my life that has been empty for soooo long?
But I can't just up and walk away from my present life. Only time will be able to sort this tangled web. I feel no fear as I lay on the edge of this cliff. 

In my DVD collection is my all time favorite Sandra Bullock movie, "Hope Floats" with Harry Connick, Jr.


I love Harry Connick, Jr's voice although his arrangements often make me want to scream! (I threw that in for free)



On the back of the movie box, "this touching and heartwarming story about following  your heart and finding yourself".
WOW! Maybe I should have called this blog "Hope Floats". The movie shows life at it's worse and how the worst can often lead you back to the place you came from, totally different and yet comfortably familiar. That's me. That's where I'm trying to go. A place where you embrace the things that you ran away from without letting them control who you are.
I did some "Google"ing and this is what two bloggers said about the meaning of hope floats; 
"My emotions are like the sea. All of my problems, worries and any source of depression will sink to the bottom of the sea with time. But hope will float."
&
"When you are in the water, floating peacefully, your troubles just seem to float away. As my muscles relax, I do as well, and I start to regain peace, tranquility and most importantly, hope." mary kidd fleming

**** I was able to visualize and grasp both immediately. Speak to me in images of water and the story you are sharing becomes mine. It is the language that I speak. It is the hope I am searching for.

A quote from the movie "Hope Floats", made by Birdee (sandra bullock):
 "Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says the beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will..."

The Bible says that "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen".
When I lost hope, I lost faith. 
It's been very hard to stay a"float" without them.
But according to Birdee, I'm at the stage of life that counts, "the middle".

It has been a good week. Hope is afloat and I am very grateful.

It's a lovely day here in my heart. I hope yours is equally fulfilling.
I'm going to leave you now with a beautiful song from the movie.
With my love, elle


"To Make You Feel My Love" garth brooks
http://www.artistdirect.com/video/to-make-you-feel-my-love/26741#.Tkfwbojp2-A.blogger


"When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there's no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
Down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet

There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love"